Liar, Liar
by xxpiratexx
Summary: J. K. Rowling's characters! Join Lily and James over the courses of their years...how often have they lied to each other? And how often has the other caught it? oneshot


**First Year**

Lily Evans stormed down to the Gryffindor common room. "James Bloody Potter, did you antagonize Severus _yet again_??"

James looked at her with earnest eyes. "No, of course not! Why would I do that?"

She glared right back at him. "Liar, liar, pants on fire, hanging on a telephone wire."

"What does that mean?"

"Muggle expression. It's basically a way of irritating someone that lies. In this case, _you_. Stop trying to change the topic."

"I am not!"

"Liar, liar."

"All right, fine, maybe Sirius and I _did _have a little bit of fun with him…"

"A little? Lying _again_?"

"All right, maybe it was more than a little. But you should have seen him! He was asking for it!"

"How was he asking for it?" Lily asked, glad that she was getting closer to the truth.

"He was just standing there writing in that weird Dark Arts book of his and he was muttering weird stuff, so…Sirius and I decided that it was time for some action."

"Exactly _what_ kind of action do you mean?"

"Well…we just changed the color of his hair!" James said defensively.

"What color was this?"

"Um…just a nice…"

"Spit it out!"

"PINK!"

"OK, and what else did you do?"

"Nothing."

"Liar, liar."

"Well…we might have made his nose…slightly bigger than normal."

"And?"

"Nothing else! I've told you everything!"

"Liar, liar."

"OK… so we enlarged his teeth. Would you like to know anything else, _Professor McGonnogal?_"

"Actually, no. I'm satisfied. Just don't bother Severus any more. I mean it, James. Stop bothering him."

James, wildly in love with this particular redhead, could do nothing but obey her wishes, and he stared at her as she walked away. What had he done wrong? Why must the only girl he had ever loved hate him? And, worse, why must every _other_ girl love him? Life just made no sense sometimes.

Second Year 

"Hey, Lily, would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me this Saturday?"

"Must I repeat the same answer _every _Hogsmeade trip? No, James. Deal with it."

"But it's Valentine's Day!!"

"And?"

"I made you a card and bought you a gift!"

"And I care…why?"

"Please? Just _look_ at them??"

"Fine. Show me." Lily rested her eyes on the most wonderful card she had ever seen. It was more of an album than a card. Many pictures of James and herself together waved at her as she turned the pages. Then, she allowed herself a peek at the gift. It was a beautiful opal necklace that had definitely cost a pretty penny.

"Do you like it?" He beamed.

She couldn't be mean to him after this, so she said softly, "James? How much did this cost?"

"Oh, this? Nothing, just a few galleons…"

"Liar, liar."

"OK, OK, maybe a bit more, but a giver never tells the recipient the price of the gift."

"Fine. But how much time did you spend on this card?"

"It was just a last-minute thing."

"Liar, liar."

"Why does it matter to you?"

"I just want to know!"

"A few evenings."

"Liar, liar."

"Do you _really_ want to know?"

"Yes. I do."

"Fine. I've been working on it since…"

"Yes?"

"Well, since Christmas."

"You spent three bloody months on a _card? _For me? Even when you knew it was going to end up in the trash?"

"Yeah…wait…it's going to end up in the trash?"

"Yes. It is. But you can have the necklace back to exchange it. Actually, keep the card, too. If you spent three MONTHS on it, you deserve to keep it. What is that, like, your WHOLE collection of pictures of me and you?"

"No, just a little."

"Liar, liar."

"OK, so it's the whole one. Thanks, anyways. For not throwing it out."

"No, James. Thank _you_."

"Why? You didn't even want it!"

"I don't know, it just sounded good there." And Lily Evans flounced off and James stared again as the love of his life walked away.

Third Year 

"Hey, Lily."

"Hey, yourself, Potter."

"Why do you call me Potter now? You used to call me James."

"Well, I believe that you're such scum that you don't deserve to _have _a first name."

"Oh."

(A few moments of silence.)

"HEY!"

"Wow, James, you _just_ got that?"

"No…"

"Liar, liar."

"Yes."

"Good. The truth always helps. Now, you're not a stupid liar, you're just plain stupid."

"HEY!"

"See? And you're losing the stupid every moment. You've still got a bloody large ego, though."

"What?"

"And you're ignorant, too."

"That's not true!"

"See? You're ignorant about being ignorant!"

"Hmmph. Like I care what you think."

"Liar, liar. You love me."

"Oh, so you pull the 'you love me' card every time it benefits YOU, but every time I ask you to Hogsmeade, you say 'no'. If -"

"Oh, just shut up. I'm tired of hearing you talk."

"Liar, liar. You just LOVE my melodious voice and you could listen to it all day."

"First of all, that's MY line, and secondly, of course not! Where did you get that idea?"

"Sirius." He replied very promptly.

"Figures. He never was the sharpest pencil in the box," Lily muttered.

"What?"

"It's not important."

"Fine. Hey, I just thought of something!"

"What?"

"If you don't love to hear the sound of my melodious voice then why haven't you walked away yet?"

"Hmmph. Maybe I will walk away."

And she did. And James Potter again gazed distantly as she made her way back to her room.

Fourth Year 

"Lily?"

"Yes, James?"

"I think I've finally gotten over you."

"Liar, liar. You love me and you know it."

"No, really. I think I might actually be telling the truth."

"WHAT?"

"Psych!"

"…"

"…"

"So you WERE lying! I'm right yet again, idiot."

"…"

"…"

"HEY!"

"You haven't changed a bit, James. Still arrogant, ignorant, pompous, stupid, …"

"Then why did you get scared when I said I got over you?"

"I was NOT scared!"

"Liar, liar."

"You are USING my LINE!"

"So? It works."

Lily gritted her teeth. "I KNOW it works. That's WHY I USE it. You can be so dense!"

And she walked away, but James smiled because she didn't again deny that she wasn't scared that he had stopped loving her.

Fifth Year 

"James!"

"What, Lily dear?"

"Did YOU send me this bag of Honeydukes chocolate and this beautiful lily for Valentine's Day."

"Yes."

"Liar, liar! I saw you purchasing those in…Hey! You told the truth!"

"So I did."

"Hmph."

"Wait…you called the lilies beautiful!"

"So I did."

"Line-stealer."

"At least I didn't lie."

"I didn't lie."

"Oh…well, then…I'll just be on my way."

And Lily Evans flounced out of the room, but James still smiled because, for once, she hadn't thrown out his Valentine's Day gift. And she had used his first name.

Sixth Year 

"Lily, darling, dearest, beautiful…"

"What did you do, James?"

"I didn't DO anything! What makes me look like I did anything?"

"Liar, liar. I know you did something. You never resort to shallow flattery unless you've done something"

"So? It wasn't anything big! I just…"

"You snogged Emma Lane on accident?"

"NO!"

"Liar, liar."

"No, seriously! I didn't! She snogged me! Don't look at me like that. Don't pout. You know I still love you."

"Just checking." Lily said, and ran back to join her circle of friends.

James gazed after her with an expression of utmost longing, but he knew that he didn't have too long to wait.

Seventh Year 

"Lily, do you love me?"

"James! Of course not!"

"Liar, liar." James said smugly.

"Again, MY LINE! And what evidence do you have to back up your theory?"

"Hmm…how about your Charms test? I was grading them in detention, and I just HAPPENED to notice that you had doodled a heart with the words "Lily Potter" in it."

Lily blushed. "Yes, well I was just trying to convince myself that we would never work out because that name doesn't fit."

"Yes, it does." James said. "Lily Potter…kind of has a ring to it. Anyways, liar, liar. But I can't complain…at least you thought about marrying me."

"I did NOT…"

"Liar, liar." James said, crossing his hands in front of his chest.

"Oh, just shut up and snog me already!"

"I would never snog you right now!"

"Liar, liar."

And she was right.


End file.
